Updated: Jun 18

I help to run a summer camp at my job and it's one of the best feelings. The children give me life and this morning I needed every bit of joy they had to offer. While feeling kind of down, I did my usual rounds to greet and give them all a fist bump. I walked up to one boy and he said "You remind me of my daddy" and I smiled. But what he said next caused that smile to vanish. "He left me and my mommy alone, I wish I could see him one day" he said. As I held back my tears, I couldn't find the words to say. I would I could give him a hug, to take his pain away. The moment hit close to home for me because I was once that little boy. The moment also hit close to home because every once in a while. I feel the same way as him.

I grew up without a father. It was not easy as a child, and it's not easy as an adult to not have him around. So when he said this, I was reminded of how hurt I was when I faced/face that same reality even now. Like him, my mom is all that I have. She took the challenge and stepped up to the plate. She helped to push me forward, by raising me in faith. But no matter how awesome she was/is, there's still times when I need a father and I have nowhere to turn. So I felt his pain. But I let him know that he could use that pain to be better instead of bitter.

I learned a long time ago that hurt people, will always hurt other people. Many times they don't even know they are doing it. Parents who hurt their children are doing what was done to them. They are doing what they know. People who mistreat other people are doing what what was done to them. They are doing what they know. I will never forget when I heard a man say "One woman hurt me and every other woman after her is going to feel it". Abusing other people is a hurt person's painkiller. It doesn't deal with the source of their hurt. But it feels good to know someone else hurts like them. It's a bandaid to put on a gun shot wound.

You can't change their reality. After I realized that about my father, I decided that becoming a better man than him was the best way to heal. I remember asking myself " Do I want to keep riding that cycle of hurt, or do I want to stop riding that bike?". I made a decision to get off the bike. Everyday I motivate myself by saying, "I want to be a man of faith", I want to be a man who takes care of his family", I want to be a man that respects women, I want to be man that has integrity, loyalty, love, honor and respect. I use that same method when people hurt me. I motivate myself by saying " I want to treat people better thanall of those people treated me".

Espirational Lesson : People are going to hurt you. Don't be bitter when they're gone. Don't let satan pursuade you. To take that hurt wants and pass it on.


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